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Alicia
October 30th, 1996

Rule number one in getting over an eating disorder: be patient with yourself. A therapist I once had in an eating disorder program told me that recovery would take 5-7 years if not longer. I didn't believe her. That seemed so long! But changing your way of thinking and your behavior is a long, slow, SCARY process which doesn't happen overnight. But it can happen. After 12+ years of eating disorder hell, I slowly emerged from my "prison", and at 32, I could basically say that my bulimia nervosa was over. Every once in awhile I have short relapses when I get really stressed, but it's not the same.

Rule number two (for me): don't be afraid to try medication as an aid in getting back into normal eating habits. There are many antidepressant medications out there that don't make you gain weight and that seem to help eating disorders. No one knows exactly why: perhaps they help remove the obession, perhaps they relieve some of the anxiety around food, or perhaps they help curb the cravings for carbos and sweets. And it is true that a number (20-30%) of persons suffering from eating disorders ALSO suffer from major depression. In my case, after years of trying all kinds of therapy while my ED symptoms stayed much the same (low weight, throwing up 5-10 times per days), I tried Prozac. The effects were dramatic. Within a few months I was able to eat normally AND reduce the bingeing significantly. (By the way, I do suffer from a recurring major depression which was identified in the course of my treatment for an eating disorder, and needless to say, that is much better as well.)

Other things which have helped:

• Age. Somehow, maintaining that "perfect bod" becomes less easy and less important after 30.
  
• Changing your environment. If you are hanging out with a group of obessesive dieters, exercisers, etc...tried to hang with people who have "normal" eating habits, who don't diet, who don't obsess about exercise, etc...I was lucky enough to move to France for a couple of years, where people eat because they enjoy food--no matter what kind of food it is. They (even skinny, gorgeous French women) eat everything in moderation, even pastries. "Light" or nonfat type products are hard to find and are disdained by French consumers. I couldn't find the calorie count of anything, so I basically stopped counting. (Note: eating disorders unfortunately exist there, too, but I'd be willing to bet lots of money that the rates are MUCH lower)
  
• Stop counting calories, stop measuring your food, stop eating the "light" stuff, stop dieting--Those are maybe some advanced techniques, but I believe you can't truly get over the ED if you hang onto the behaviors. I think of myself as a "diet alcoholic", and I stay away from anything that resembles a diet for fear that the obsession will return. I try to eat everything now--even once forbidden foods (ex: I always use real sugar in my coffee now). And I will NEVER EVER diet again. I still exercise--moderately now--of course.
  
• Stop trying to maintain an unrealistic weight. For years I insisted on being a very specific (and unhealthy) weight. I was horrifed at the idea of gaining, but it did happen slowly over a period of years, and miraculously, I have no more cravings to eat large quantities of food or certain "forbidden" foods EXCEPT under stress or depression (when I am off my medication).

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