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Anonymous
August 5, 1998

I write to you from the "other side"... I've been on the "other side" for 8 years this July and now that I'm over here, I can't imagine why I spent so much time with my eating disorder. Life on the other side is more wonderful and exciting than you can imagine and although it might be scary at first, it's worth every ounce of effort to get there.

I am 35 years old. My e.d. started at 17 and I strugged with it through my 20's. Over many long years of therapy and two hospitalizations (the first one didn't "take"), I finally got to the point where I felt happy with my life, my body, and my soul.

There is no magic answer. What worked for me, might not work for you. You have to find the way that's best for you. But one thing I can say is that I truly believe that you can only have recovery if you want it more than anything else in the entire world. You have to be "sick" of being "sick" and be willing to do whatever it takes to get better. For me, that was 6 weeks in the hospital, following a rigid food plan designed by a nutritionist, outpatient therapy, support groups, and reading books.

What didn't work was spending time with negative people who seemed to thrive on being sick. Once I started surrounding myself with healthy, happy people, I started to feel healthier and happier myself. The positive thinking stuff really works. Of course, I didn't believe what I was telling myself at first, but eventually, what I told myself became reality. Like, liking my body for what it is. I started small... a nurse in my hospital program suggested I find one thing I liked about my body. I had a lot trouble finding something, but eventually, I did. I built on that and along with lots of therapy and time, I eventually found happiness and recovery.

My life before recovery consisted of exercise, thinking about what I was going to eat or not eat, avoiding social situations, having very few friends, disliking my body and myself, and basically feeling miserable.

My life now consists of a new job, a happy marriage, interesting hobbies (two years ago, I learned to fly airplanes), and self-improvement (I'm working on an M.B.A.).

There is life after your eating disorder. If you knew what was out there waiting for you to experience, you would drop your eating disorder in a minute and go for it. I wish you happiness, health, and especially recovery.

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