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Christine
July 10th, 1997

I am a twenty-five year old who battled anorexia/bulimia for eleven years. It started with a "diet" and ended with starvation, laxative abuse, compulsive exercise and induced vomiting. My compulsive dieting/bingeing/vomiting became a way of life for me; I managed to fit it in around classes, activities, etc. (or, rather, I fit my life in around my compulsions). Eventually, though, I stopped going out, avoided going anywhere that involved eating, and simply got stuck in the whirlpool of my disease. I forgot that there was more to life than food and calories; that there were people who loved me; that I was a person and there was much more to me than my body and what I put into it. It had become such a part of me that, although I was miserable, I wasn't sure I could function any other way.

It took me hitting an absolute "rock bottom," and the love of my best friends and my family, for me to seek help with a psychologist. That was extremely difficult for me: I had always been a rotten communicator (no real surprise there:-) ). I also found that group therapy helped me immensely; eating disorders are so frightening and at the same time so isolating that it is a real lifesaver to find others who share similar experiences. I learned how to cope with the issues that led to my eating disorder: to paraphrase Geneen Roth, an eating disorder is a very small bandage that tries in vain to heal a gaping wound.

Anyway, after several years, I finally feel free. My life no longer revolves around weight, dieting, food, etc. I have stayed at a consistent healthy weight for two years. I feel like I cut myself off from the world for years and now I have a real life. I got married last year to a wonderful man, who supported me all the way through my recovery and loves me for ME. I just want people to know that there is a way out; if I can do it anyone can. It just takes real dedication, and you cannot do it alone.

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