by: April
Can you hear me
or must I show you?
I talk,
but you do not listen.
I am out of control,
but this mask I wear as it glistens.
"Everything is okay,
it's fine!"
I tell you this
as I am dying inside.
Can it be this easy?
Are you this much of a fool?
Not to see me destroying my body
and cry enough tears to fill a pool.
Or maybe I have mastered
this art of mask wearing
to the point you do not see
for I wear with out sharing.
I do not know the answer
and instead of fight
I throw in the white flag
and surrender all my might.
I sleep the day away
hoping to wake up from this nightmare.
But in the morning it's still the same
and another day I must bare.
My eyes they hurt
from the tears that I cry.
My toes are numb
and I am not sure just why.
It's all my fault,
I know this for sure,
It's all my fault
for believing all your harsh words.
Who would have thought
your words would stay
close by me forever
and ever to stay?
Why can't I love me
for who I really am?
If only I could see
exactly where I stand.
"It won't happen to me."
I shrug your comment off with assurance.
For there is nothing wrong with me
I'm just carrying around a few burdens.
As these lies
fill my head I wonder,
will I ever see the reality
of what I am living under?
What will it take
for me to finally see
my problem is serious,
"but it's not as bad as it could be."
There I go again
finding excuses for these lies.
Is there really another way
or will I have to die?
So I go through each day
with all of these things and more.
Maybe one day I will portray
all of this pain that I bore.
I scream, I scream loud.
Why can't you hear me?
Does it even matter?
For you will never see.
You will never hear my tears
hit my pillow at night.
Or see all of the fears
that I am trying to fight.
Can you even hear me
or must I show you?
Are you listening?
My heart breaks too!
I search for all the answers,
but I find none.
So show you I will
and maybe one day I will get one.
