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Blackened Brightness
by: Anonymous

"You're so quiet on the phone" is what he said...

I told him our phone has problems, and that I'd try to talk louder

Once again camouflaging my ever deepening sadness

My despair that no one sees or knows is existing.

Sometimes I swear I'm spinning.

Other times I'm floating on painful violet heat.

On the surface I'm half-good

Beneath it all I'm discounted to all ends.

Ironically, I see clearer now.

I can see hidden pain in other people's eyes.

I acknowledge this in my mind,

But I always act the same, never outstretching like I should.

Why can't I do what's right?

For others and mostly, for me!

All they want is two open rubber arms to hold them

I know it's all they need to keep a place

I know it because it's all I need too...

I need understanding and I can't even understand myself, or understand why I can't break the wall between me and my inner soul.

Bring me down, bring me down...do it subtly and I will break for you.

©2001 Anonymous. Reprinted with Permission.

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