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At First
by: Rachel Sareh

There was a raging beast,
that would steal and rob and kill.
At first it was security,
until it took away God's will.

At first it was relief,
and it seemed to come in need.
Until it stole my freedom,
and clung to every deed.

At first it was a comfort,
as it eased away much pain.
Until it stole my friends,
and I felt I couldn't refrain.

At first it was a tenderness,
that kept feelings tucked inside.
Until it stole my endurance,
and I no longer even tried.

At first it felt so good,
as people looked in awe.
Until weight became obsession,
and fat was all I saw.

At first it was a game,
that I played deep within.
Until it grasped all desires,
and I no longer cared to win.

At first it looked so easy,
it made me feel so fit.
Until it stole my strength,
and I felt I couldn't quit.

At first it was a shelter,
in times of desperate storms.
Until it left me stranded,
cold, abandoned, and warn.

At first it seemed like failure,
to think about defeat.
But now I think of blessing,
That comes with each heart beat.

At first it seemed impossible,
that I should be given grace.
But now I see Calvary,
as I look to Jesus' face.

At first it seemed so hopeless,
but now I know He's here.
He'll replace the pain I feel,
and once again draw me near.

©2001 Rachel Sareh. Reprinted with Permission.

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