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Argentina

By: Florencia

Hi, my name is Florencia, I'm 20 and I'm from Argentina.

I think I started with this when I was very young, I was always worried about weight, image and food. I remember one episode when I was in fifth grade, when our teacher told us to write in a piece of paper our weight, that was the first time I lied about it. I always felt too fat, and I was tired of that, so I proposed myself to start dieting, just to lose some weight, that started when I was 16, and since then I'm all messed up in this horrible disease that I can't stop. In some point of my anorexia, I was very proud of myself because I felt that I was so in control, and I couldn't understand why my family and friends said that something was wrong with me, they were wrong, they just wanted me to be fat, or I thought that. But one day I began to feel sick all the time, you know, always cold, tired, I felt my body dying, but in some way I was happy of that. I just wanted to be transparent, that noone could see me. I did that and almost die.

But now it's all different my sweet anorexia is not with me like it used to be, but I'm not alone, I got another "friend" much worst than anorexia, it's called bulimia, and it's been a living hell. I prayed, cried and did everything trying to go back to my "sweet friend anorexia", but all my efforts were in vane. I have to realise that I have to do something or this would literally "eat" my life.

I started treatment, in a way it helped me, but I (we) know that we have to change the way we see ourselves, the way we treat ourselves, because no treatment would give us the key to happiness, we must find it.

I'm not recovered yet, but I know, that some day I will be, and all the voices I hear won't be as louder as they are now.

Maybe some day none of us will have to hear these voices, and maybe we could be as happy as we want.

©2001 Florencia. Reprinted with Permission.

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