The following story is about a young woman named Caron who has been battling anorexia. This story is shared through the eyes of her friend, Lisa Arndt.

Please be warned that some of the information may be very triggering if you suffer from an Eating Disorder yourself.

August 1996

August 12th, 1996

METHODS OF THE MADNESS

Hi Friends. I am growing more tired of watching the same same suffering. The methodical way Caron plays out her daily life: cooking, writing, cleaning, not eating, talking about the same same pain, etc. It is madness and I get caught up in it. I grow immune to how grey her skin color is, and chat about upcoming movies. I block out her thin branches of legs that manage to walk, and get excited about her bake sales and poetry.

I'm so deeply into this nightmare that I can't see straight somedays. People (lots through this e-mail saving grace!) tell me that I'm "SAINTLY" to have put up with what I already have with her. Yet I am always wondering if I'm doing enough and I worry that I am being selfish because I don't see her as often as I literally could. I keep thinking, if it was me, I would be so truly terrified underneath, and I would hope no one would leave me or grow weary.

Sigh. Caron does not have insurance, she is a Canadian citizen, another reason why I don't even think I COULD be awarded medical gaurdianship (it would be a U.S. court decision, afterall) if I wanted to go against Caron's wishes. The frustrating thing is that in Canada they are on a different medical system and not only would she be hospitalized against her will (based on weight alone) but her medical bills would not be so problematic. But Caron refuses to go back. Her sister is actually visiting from Canada right now, staying with Caron, and is hoping to bring her back but it's not going to work. The stubborn need to control everything is so present in Caron it will fight back at ANY COST.

I guess that is the answer about whether she is choosing to slowly die, too, isn't it?

with much appreciation for your time
Lisa

August 18th, 1996

CARON'S 23RD BIRTHDAY

Today was Caron's 23rd Birthday, one that many of us didn't know she'd be alive to celebrate. A group of supportive, loving people gathered around Caron to share this day with her, including her sister, who is visiting from Canada right now. It was a bittersweet party, filled with Angel-covered cards and gifts. Caron's spirits soared as her family of friends surrounded her. She blew out the single candle on the ice cream sundae donated by the restaurant, and quickly passed the food along to one of the kids at the table. I felt a deep sadness then. But she looks so alive, vibrant, filled with love today, that I pushed that feeling aside, and wished right along with her.

Happy Birthday, my beautiful friend.
Lisa

Caron's story is about a young woman battling anorexia. It is shared through the eyes of her friend, Lisa Arndt.

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