The following story is about a young woman named Caron who has been battling anorexia. This story is shared through the eyes of her friend, Lisa Arndt.

Please be warned that some of the information may be very triggering if you suffer from an Eating Disorder yourself.

November 1996

November 11th, 1996

CARON WANTS TO GET HELP!!!

Caron called me early Sunday morning and told me she can't do this on her own anymore, she is scared for her life, and wants to go to a hospital. I was so surprised and happy and sad at the same time. Caron has had a completely awful time lately, she fears nightly that if she goes to sleep she won't wake up. Her heart, chest, and bones ache, she is bleeding internally, and she gets confused about where she is and what is real and what's not. It is a terrifying space to be in. She is alone in her apartment a lot of the time and is so scared she will die alone. It is absolutely gut-wrenching to hear her sob to me on the phone about not having done everything she wanted to do in this life, etc. etc.

This fear and recent medical complications has pushed Caron into finally wanting help. I've been on the phone non-stop with hospitals and treatment centers ever since she made her decision. The most tragic of this whole thing is, after ten long long months of trying to get Caron to want help, now that she wants it, it's not so easily available.

Caron has no money and no insurance and she is not a citizen of this country. Treatment centers for eating disorders (like Rader, Renfrew, etc.) won't take her for free. The only free care she can access is the county mental health hospital that does not specialize in eating disorders, as is usually populated by homeless schizophrenic sufferers. This option is too frightening to Caron, and truthfully, she may not even qualify for such care. HOWEVER, the good news is that Caron can have free medical treatment at U.C.L.A. Hospital which is an excellent facility. That is the first step no matter what because an eating disorder clinic couldn't take her even if she had money if she were not stable medically.

So the plan of Caron's "support" team (which includes me, Diane, Anita, and many other friends of hers- people who were involved in the intervention we tried a few months ago) is to have her go to U.C.L.A. Medical Hospital to be cared for. The internal bleeding is obviously very serious, and the chest pains she experiences may lead the doctors to find other critical problems that need to be addressed. In the meantime, I am trying to find the psychological care she needs desperately. Unfortunately, at the time of the intervention, Caron was offered a scholarship at Remuda Ranch (a treatment center), but I spoke with them today and that is no longer available.

BUT I AM HOPEFUL. I am hopeful because Caron WANTS help, is taking the risk of asking for help, after all this time. I am asking you, out there, this family of readers we've become, to please have good thoughts (prayers if that applies to you) and send them in Caron's direction. This past week I have been more and more certain that she is going to die (I can't even describe all the nightmarish scares and pains she has endured lately), and now that I can have her voluntarily go to the hospital, I am hopeful again.

I will let all of you know what is happening as soon as I can. Thank you.

November 21st, 1996

Sadly, Caron Changed Her Mind About Wanting Help

I'm sorry to report that Caron is no longer willing or wanting to go to a medical hospital or treatment center. Myself and other friends of Caron's tried for five days to get her to UCLA Medical Hospital to be seen by a physician, but she kept putting it off and finally decided not to go at all (based largely on the fact that she has had bad experiences with hospitals in the past). In the meantime, I had set up a plan to fly with her to get treatment in Canada, and she only considered this for a day or two before deciding that going to back to where her family lives was not an option. I had also attempted to find her care in other treatment centers in the U.S. and was not successful (for financial and medical reasons). Caron did consider coming to The Rader Institute (where I work) but has decided, for now, to continue her own plan of action to get better.

My friends, I am skeptical and saddened by this. I was hopeful during the week of scrambling around, making many phone calls, trying to find a place for Caron to go... but the motivation did not last for her, and she is now, once again, in charge of her life. I am afraid because when she has control, her anorexia has control, and I'm not sure that someone as sick as she is (or anyone suffering from an eating disorder, as they are diseases, addictions, that we don't understand) can fight against the unyeilding power of this eating illness.

Regardless, I will not give up. NO MATTER WHAT.

Lisa

Caron's story is about a young woman battling anorexia. It is shared through the eyes of her friend, Lisa Arndt.

read December, 1996 >>

Back to Caron's Story Index