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I'll Never Really Believe
by: Colleen F.

Listening for my voice, I never hear a sound
Fearing I'll be left alone, abandoned, never found

I cry out in the dark, a eery silent scream
Denied what I feel, forbidden so it seems

I am so small, a child without hope, hanging on by faith
I wonder if I deserve this, and if I'll ever be saved

I reach for someone's hand, but there is no one in sight
Trying to starve, trying to eat, I never get it right

Opening my eyes, I try not to look, knowing who you are
I struggle then to hide again, the past is never far

I lay awake and tell myself to just be brave, be strong
That someday I will find the truth and know I wasn't wrong

So stay here with me one more night
Pray for me, tell me I'll be alright

I wasn't bad, I'm not to blame, but in my heart I grieve
For buried deep within my soul, I fear I'll never really believe

©2001 Colleen F. Reprinted with Permission.

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